The summer of that year found me in nature. Every day. Me, my blanket, my freshly acquired Tarot cards.
I followed the sun through the sky, the leaves as they stretched, the flowers as they unfurled. There were no distractions, no noise, no outings, no conversation. This garden became my temple, my sanctuary, my prayer mat, my home.
I listened to my psychic self and lived a life of “being” instead of “doing”. I trained my mind to exist only in the day I was in. If I ventured into yesterdays and tomorrows they invited sadness. But basking in each second, each minute, each hour of the present moment brought promise, opportunity, a new, abundant life:
“Today, I’m alive! And the sun is so glorious on my face, the air is so sweet. Was the sky always this blue?! The grass all around me, it's so vibrant, it pulses with the beat of life.”
I conversed with myself endlessly, observing, taking note, sitting in wonder, sitting in amazement.
I delved into each experience as if I were a newborn. I realised I had never really seen flowers before, not like this, nor trees, nor honeybees, nor blackbirds. They lived an existence so far removed from the busyness of a ‘doing’ life.
I was part of everything. I was not separate from the blade of grass or the blackbird’s song. They were me and I them.
This was my survival and hope surfaced. If this was all there was now, what an amazing life. I would journey with nature’s cycles and live with her. I tasted a freedom I never knew, even while chained to the sickness that took my body.
My psychic self thrived, she came fully alive, she was beyond all thought, all matter, she lived in the ethereal where all was one and timeless. She stretched her wings and sang to me daily, so ecstatic to be heard. In the silence I finally understood her and in the morning sun I played with my new Tarot cards, and she taught me how to see them. I realised that Tarot was just a reflection of the human journey, the cyclical birth, struggle, joy, death experience of each of us as we each walk our path.
With her blessing I was ready to give my first reading.
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