A spirit meadow
or, pets going home.
It’s not just human beans I check in on after they have died, I also check in on the beautiful little fur beans of this world. I don’t do this very often, but when I do it is always a revelation. This is what I have seen:
Sister no. 4’s fur bean left us last year. A regal dog, he looked like a white wolf and was a truly angelic being. He would frequently bound up to strangers to boop them on the nose and gift them his love and snuggles. Due to his size, this wasn’t always welcomed (his nickname was ‘the horse’), and it sometimes provoked bewilderment, but mostly, his affection was received with open arms. I often wondered why he did this, and watched him with a clairvoyant eye one day. What I saw was a pure soul offering his love to those holding a sadness that longed for light. His charge was to sprinkle pure love on these heavy hearts, and in doing so, he brought healing to many.
As he grew weary, and the bones that once stood him so proudly weakened, it was time. On the day of his passing I sat holding him in light thousands of miles away as he made the journey. A smooth and easy transition he immediately booped spirit me on the nose to say thank you and ran off to a beach full of other spirit dogs. The beach had been his favourite place and he couldn’t have been happier. There was no questioning, no judgement, he simply accepted his new life as it was. Seeing me in this new realm was as normal to him as seeing me on the ground. Though he understood that he was no longer on the same plane as his mistress, his love and care for her continued nonetheless, and he walks with her often.
The second born pooch was sister no. 2’s first love. A bounding ball of golden fur that rolled into her life one day. He was the embodiment of unconditional love. He left these earthly shores far sooner than anyone imagined he would, in deeply distressing circumstances. More than one healer battled to relieve his affliction to no avail. It all seemed so very, very wrong, and hearts broke open in grief. It was clear he didn’t truly understand what was happening. I offered him arms of light as he passed shakily, still mired in confusion. It took him some time so reluctant was he to leave the mistress he held so tightly in his heart. He chose a quiet place nearby to wait for the day he can return to her side, albeit in a new guise.
In the days and days and days when I was a poorly bean, my first fur companion was a cat. The crook of my arm was his favourite spot for siestas and languid days spent snoozing together were frequent. He could play fetch like a dog, and loved nothing more than propping up the bar in the pub next door. Riding on the top of cars and climbing on the roofs of houses was another favourite hobby.
‘Is this your cat?’ was a familiar phone call as he had once again made himself comfortable on someone else’s kitchen table.
When his time came I didn’t know how to be without him and raged and raged against the dying of his light. I felt the familiar crack in my chest as he breathed his last and called on the Angelic realm to see me through the worst of the days to come. A glorious light filled the room and I saw him rise into it. It was pure beauty, and I realised that an angel had been with me all along.
This was a very different experience to when, years earlier, one of the family cat’s had gone missing. No amount of calling, posters, searching and praying brought him back. Only months later did we receive a phone call letting us know that he had been a hit and run casualty. Racing to the vets, it was obvious he wasn’t long for this world. As I held him, assuring him that all was well, I saw him bounce off into a beautiful spirit meadow filled with wild flowers and shaded by trees.
‘Where were you?” I asked him.
“I wanted to be wild”, he said. “I wanted to know what it was like to be truly wild and truly free, and I was, and I loved it.”
Though his adventure had come to an abrupt end, it was because he had simply chosen to return to a place of even greater freedom. A place where he could be wild and untamed for as long as he wished. He thanked me for the love our family had given him, and with a flick of a tail and without a backward glance, trotted off happily into his new home.


My beautiful 16 year old cat, Jack, collapsed when I was away on a hiking trip.
Medically, she should have died, but when I returned, I had a strong feeling she was waiting for me to return.
I thanked her for waiting, but I knew she was tired and it was time for her to leave. I gave her my blessing to go when she was ready. A few weeks later, I was woken at 3 in the morning. She had lost the use of her legs and her sight, and was clearly in distress.
An urgent call to the 24 hour vet, and beautiful Jack lay in our arms as she was euthanised. It was so peaceful, but it felt so right. The timing and situation just felt as it should be ❤️
Her ashes are now part of a beautiful rose which blooms every year since her passing.